Kensington shopper at rest

This shot goes back a couple of weeks during my outing to Kensington Market. Today was the start of pedestrian Sundays for the season, where once a month they close down the streets to vehicular traffic and let the people and cyclists roam free. It’s always a terrific adventure during these days. I was too busy today trying to get all my ducks in a row for the upcoming workweek to go. Would have loved to check it out.

There was also a big photography equipment show downtown that I really wanted to visit, but again, duty calls.

I was suppose to photograph my friend’s little girls at their ballet recital, but it hinged on me getting my chores done in time, which unfortunately didn’t happen. I really have to start being far far more firm when I tell people NO to Sunday events. I’d told her I couldn’t do it but she was insistent to the point where I felt pressured to say yes. It was one of those things where you are doomed it you do and doomed it you don’t. And what it all boils down to, sadly, is my inability to be dishonest. Most people would simply make up an iron-clad, impossible to debate excuse to avoid hurt feelings, but I just tend to be honest and assume my honesty will be respected and appreciated. It rarely is. And every freakin’ time it bites me in the ass. From now on, I am going to LIE to get out of stuff I can’t do, when I think the truth won’t work. I’ve been screwed over by being honest more often than not over the past few months. I never thought I’d live to see the day where lying trumps honesty, but here we are. Oh well, life goes on.

This entry was posted in Black & White Photography, Portrait Photography, Street Photography, Toronto, Urban Photography and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

7 Responses to Kensington shopper at rest

  1. jaz58 says:

    Nice shot. You sound about as organised in yout time managment as I am 🙂

  2. Pingback: Is there Ever Enough Praise « Leanne Cole

  3. HMB says:

    I like the photo. The woman looks very suspicious. Makes me wonder about her experiences.

    I’ve had to practice with No. “No. I’m sorry. I can’t.”
    “Why not?”
    “Because I can’t.”
    “Well I heard you, but why can’t you?”
    “Because I can’t.”
    “It just this once, and it’s a really special occasion.”
    “I’m sorry. I can’t.”

    And so on. It can often be very upsetting, but eventually they get it. If they become really upset and go into ultra-high pressure, I stick with the same thing. I don’t owe them an explanation, and if they behave as if I am being rude to them, by not giving into to their unreasonable demands, I guess it is, in reality, no big loss. (Though it may not feel good at first.)

    Yes, if I tell them No, and they continue to try to intimidate me into agreeing – they are indeed being unreasonable. Being able to say No and stick to it requires that one feel she has a right to say No if that is her choice. One doesn’t have to have a Good Enough Reason that must be judged sufficient. No means No.

    None of it is easy at first, but it can eventually get close to that.

    • With most situations I would agree with you, but this is a little different. It’s a very close, lifelong friend and at the end of the day I really should have figured out a way to make it work. But I know myself well and I know that come late Sunday I need to be settling down for the evening with very little stimulus so I can get to bed really early for the workweek ahead. The last thing I can handle on a Sunday is dealing with an unknown situation filled with strangers doing something I know in my heart is dead wrong for me. My anxiety was so bad all weekend over this that I woke up at 4:20 AM Sunday morning already stressing about how I was going to be able to do this. I even considered simply calling in sick Monday so I could have the time to get everything done that needed doing.

      At the end of the day I let her down again and now I’m once again racked with guilt over it. She’s pissed, but if only she’d accept the No I gave her when she initially asked, all of this could have been avoided.

      From now on, I will lie to anyone and everyone to get out of doing things that I can’t or don’t want to do. That’s who I’m going to become. I’m even going to create a list of lies to draw from when necessary. Being honest is a waste of fucking time.

  4. HMB says:

    It can all be so totally frustrating. I don’t mean to be telling you what You ought to do. I have respect for your choices. What works for me doesn’t necessarily work for everyone/anyone else. Good luck to you.

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